The vote on 8 won't be certified until next month. Start visualizing and Secret'ing it to lose! The trick is to visualize it to the point where you feel REALLY good, like it's REALLY happening!
Also, remind yourself that if Prop 8 does pass, it will be but a momentary setback in the civil rights movement... while at the same time, we are celebrating the groundbreaking civil rights victory of having for the first time a black President! Civil rights moves forward inexorably. We will prevail!
(If you don't understand how people of color and queers have more in common than less, talk to me.)
2) Feel REALLY good!
Novel lawsuits are already being filed, on the grounds that Prop 8 misused the amendment process to undermine the constitution itself. Other lawsuits are also being filed. It might be even MORE FUN if Prop 8 wins and then gets struck down in the courts! Hah! So if that feels even better to you, Secret that!
3) Fight FOR your equality, not AGAINST Prop 8, conservatives, or anything else... not even in your mind.
What you resist, persists. Fight FOR your equality, your right to be treated equal under the law, and your acceptance in our culture for who you are.
4) Shift to not fighting at all.
Resist the urge to see this as a war, an us versus them dynamic with winners and losers.
This is what many conservatives actually want. If your head is making war, then you are actually participating in the global war machine they support.
If you want peace on this planet, do not expect it until you can figure out how to assert your equality in peace.
Take action, certainly... but do it in a way that does not divide you from others. Stay connected to your friends and family members that are so wrapped up in their own fears that they could vote Yes on 8. Be an agent of change in their lives.
Create this change through love and unity, not war and separation.
5) Know what Prop 8 is really about and respond to that.
Realize that this is not really about marriage at all, but about keeping queers invisible, discriminated against, oppressed. So, be visible... be yourself, fearlessly, powerfully, and encourage others to do the same.
Examine your experiences to see if there are any ways, even little ways, that you still hide who you really are AND/OR allow others to express their homophobia without letting them know how their actions affect you.
Do you refrain from talking about your relationships at work even though straight coworkers do? When was the last time you let a homophobic joke go without saying something? Are you still hiding from any of your family members to some degree? Can you meet new people, spend any significant amount of time with them, and make it so they leave without really knowing you're gay/queer/trans/etc?
Even if you're "fully out", do you modulate it down sometimes? Under what circumstances? Are you living as queer as you actually are? If you're heterosexual, are YOU living as queer as you actually are?
Remember, if someone has to be uncomfortable or unhappy, it doesn't have to be you. :-)
BONUS! 6) Forward this message on!
Please feel free to mail, email, or repost this text. All I ask is that you include the original link: http://bunnykitteh.livejournal.com/15559
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It was getting deeply in touch with the pain of being seen as less-than-a-person by people I grew up with that has enabled me to write that post.
This is a hard, hard, hard thing to ask of anyone. The most human thing in the world -- hell, the most mammalian, the most animal, the most living organism thing in the world -- is to interpret pain as something to hide, so that one does not show weakness and invite the inflicting of more pain. Anger is a good tool for that, as it frightens away potential attackers. As a response, it is both righteous and practical.
By all means, work through your anger. Take the time you need. You'll be healthier for it.
All I ask is that rather than attacking rednecks, which in their eyes cements you in that "less than human" position they view you in, that you have the courage to ask them: "How could you do this to me?" Break through their walls of prejudice by showing them that you are human, that you hurt, that you yourself have been directly affected by this thing they have done.
You are well within your rights to tell me to go fuck myself with something spiky and uncomfortable. I respect that, and you.
--mlp, of redneck extraction, proud Prop 8 opponent
If I'm sad about anything, it's that others are so fearful and that we have not reached out to them.
I'm feeling sad that I gayed it down in Texas. It could have been a powerful opportunity for connection and learning.
But mostly I'm joyful. Still composing a letter to my grandma. She's gotten a free pass in our family for too long, mostly because no one knew how to respond to her. I am learning how, more and more.