So my mantra is: No peace for you without equality for me. We will not shut up until Prop 8 is overturned.

I saw this anonymous comment today:

Prop 8 was not about rights, that's the biggest lie of all. It was about social acceptance and affirmation of the gay lifestyle and you know it. You're obviously gay, and I can respect you with out embracing your lifestyle choice...and that's what a no vote would have meant for me. The only hatred and bigotry I saw and continue to see throughout this whole ordeal is from those who try to use thuggish tactics to force social agendas on the rest of society....Well guess what, those tactics just further entrench people in their previously held beliefs and the El Coyote is still in business and thriving.

To which I replied:

Wow. Ok, let's set two things straight, by separating them out.

1) Prop 8 *was* about rights, because marriage is legally a "fundamental right" in California. It is irrelevant that the SC made its ruling on this regarding gays *after* Prop 8 was put in motion--the principle was there the whole time.

2) You are absolutely right, Prop 8 is *also* about social acceptance of gays. We knew it, and they knew it, and this is exactly why it was such a big fight. Not because people care so much about marriage. Please. I'm gay and have no interest in marriage and I worked hard against Prop 8. And plenty of straight people disrespect marriage in all kinds of ways, and they worked hard for Prop 8. Not because they love marriage, but because they don't like gays.

And that right there is hatred and bigotry.

Because the lack of social acceptance of gays is harmful and violent. I suggest you ask Harvey Milk or Matthew Shepard if you disagree with me. Too bad they can't answer. But the rest of us who are still alive, who all of you haven't killed or otherwise managed to silence, can. We can tell you about all the shit we've put up with just because someone like you thought we were making a wrong "lifestyle choice" (if you think you're respecting me with that phrase, you are dead wrong).

After Prop 8, I'm just not taking bullshit anymore. Not yours, not anyone's.

A protected minority seeking protection from the majority through the courts is exactly part of why we have our judicial system. It is an important part of "checks and balances". To call this "thuggish tactics" is to misunderstand and disrespect not just gays, but the entire system of American government.

I'm not sorry that you don't get your way. I don't feel the least bit apologetic that our government, more and more, is saying "No, you don't get to treat these people this way."

1) Start feeling good!

The vote on 8 won't be certified until next month. Start visualizing and Secret'ing it to lose! The trick is to visualize it to the point where you feel REALLY good, like it's REALLY happening!

Also, remind yourself that if Prop 8 does pass, it will be but a momentary setback in the civil rights movement... while at the same time, we are celebrating the groundbreaking civil rights victory of having for the first time a black President! Civil rights moves forward inexorably. We will prevail!

(If you don't understand how people of color and queers have more in common than less, talk to me.)

2) Feel REALLY good!

Novel lawsuits are already being filed, on the grounds that Prop 8 misused the amendment process to undermine the constitution itself. Other lawsuits are also being filed. It might be even MORE FUN if Prop 8 wins and then gets struck down in the courts! Hah! So if that feels even better to you, Secret that!

3) Fight FOR your equality, not AGAINST Prop 8, conservatives, or anything else... not even in your mind.

What you resist, persists. Fight FOR your equality, your right to be treated equal under the law, and your acceptance in our culture for who you are.

4) Shift to not fighting at all.

Resist the urge to see this as a war, an us versus them dynamic with winners and losers.

This is what many conservatives actually want. If your head is making war, then you are actually participating in the global war machine they support.

If you want peace on this planet, do not expect it until you can figure out how to assert your equality in peace.

Take action, certainly... but do it in a way that does not divide you from others. Stay connected to your friends and family members that are so wrapped up in their own fears that they could vote Yes on 8. Be an agent of change in their lives.

Create this change through love and unity, not war and separation.

5) Know what Prop 8 is really about and respond to that.

Realize that this is not really about marriage at all, but about keeping queers invisible, discriminated against, oppressed. So, be visible... be yourself, fearlessly, powerfully, and encourage others to do the same.

Examine your experiences to see if there are any ways, even little ways, that you still hide who you really are AND/OR allow others to express their homophobia without letting them know how their actions affect you.

Do you refrain from talking about your relationships at work even though straight coworkers do? When was the last time you let a homophobic joke go without saying something? Are you still hiding from any of your family members to some degree? Can you meet new people, spend any significant amount of time with them, and make it so they leave without really knowing you're gay/queer/trans/etc?

Even if you're "fully out", do you modulate it down sometimes? Under what circumstances? Are you living as queer as you actually are? If you're heterosexual, are YOU living as queer as you actually are?

Remember, if someone has to be uncomfortable or unhappy, it doesn't have to be you. :-)

BONUS! 6) Forward this message on!

Please feel free to mail, email, or repost this text. All I ask is that you include the original link: http://bunnykitteh.livejournal.com/155593.html